Top Ten Pieces of Audition Advice

The following is what I learned from watching the Theatre Bay Area General Auditions.  Take it with a grain of salt as I'm a fledgling casting director and may be full of shit.  Here's my two cents anyway:

Stephanie's Top Ten Pieces of Audition Advice:

1. If given the option, ALWAYS do two monologues.  There were quite a few people that I had dismissed seconds into their first piece who I absolutely loved by the end of their second piece.  

2. Time yourself.  I was AMAZED at how many people had time called.  It's much more appealing to have an actor complete their monologue with enough time to make a gracious exit than to see an actor push the time limit to 'really showcase their mad skills' before making a hurried and awkward retreat.

3. Strike your chair.  If you move it, then put it back where you found it.

4. The prologue to Henry V is brilliant, however, it is not an audition monologue.

5. Move.  This is a note I've had to take myself.  I was shocked at how much an actor's movement altered my opinion of the auditionee.  Take risks.  Use your body.  Make bold choices with your body in at least one of your monologues to showcase your control of your physical form.  It's amazing what a difference that makes.

6. Accents are cool.  But if you choose to do a monologue with an accent, make sure you're damn good at it and do not use an accent for your second monologue.  We need to hear how you really sound.

7. Dress your best.  That does not mean you have to wear a dress or a suit.  I found that it didn't matter really what the auditionee was wearing as long as they looked comfortable and confident in their clothes.

8. Soft feet!  Ladies, heels may make your legs look fabulous but Oi!  The sound of shoes on the wooden stage was ridiculous and by the end of the day my most frequent note was 'Shhhhh!'.  If you're gonna wear heels, rubber soles would be best.

9. Make sure your headshot and resume are up to date.

10. Final bit of advice...every rule can be broken.  Bottom line, if you've got the skills it's easy for a casting director to overlook the little mistakes.  Do not worry if you flub a line or forget the name of the piece you're performing.  It's all about the talent and if you've got that then you're sure to go far.

A side note...I'm so very proud of all my Tony N' Tina castmates who auditioned.  Honestly, you all represented so well and I'm proud to work with you.  Keep up the good work!

Valentine's Day

This past Saturday was Valentine's Day.  A day which makes single people miserable and gives couples the excuse to be even more gross and affectionate.  It is a stupid holiday.  I am in a committed monogamous relationship and so clearly fall into the gross and affectionate couple category.  The thing is I don't care very much about making a point to proclaim my love for someone one day a year only when I am required to do so by society and Hallmark.  I don't want to feel pressured into spending money on a lavish dinner or a silly gift.  Though, to be fair, it would Mike spending that money, not me.  At any rate, we decided to boycott.  I had to work all weekend and so Mike went up to Tahoe with some friends and the holiday passed by without a scene.

Instead, I spent the holiday with one of my longest loves, the theatre.  I have to say, performing in a wedding show on Valentine's Day was actually pretty amazing.  While I do not subscribe to the whole cupid and roses thing it was really wonderful to see all of the couples all decked out and lovey dovey.  We had a packed house on Saturday night, filled with groups of single ladies and couples.  It's actually a fun idea to see Tony N' Tina's on Velntine's Day.  It was about a year ago that this particular San Francisco cast began peforming at Fisherman's Warf AND Tina's birthday is on the 14th (allegedly) so it was a fun filled night indeed.  

On top of all the shenanigans of the evening, I got to witness one of the coolest things ever.  

There's a part of the show where this character 'Vinnie' does a little comedy act and then makes some announcements about any celebrations in the audience; birthdays, anniverseries, bachelorette parties, etc.  Well, last Saturday 'Vinnie' called up a couple from the audience and gave the guy the mic and told him to 'do his thing'.  The rest of the cast had no idea what was going on.  The audience member explained that he and his girlfriend were from Brazil and so their English wasn't very good.  He then told his girlfriend that he was so happy that they became friends and then grew closer and THEN he GETS DOWN ON ONE KNEE and he pulls out a ring!!  The whole audience is clapping and shouting and of course I'm CRYING like an idiot.  And after like a minute of applause, his girlfriend says 'Of course' and we all stand up and they kiss and I cry some MORE.  It was so cool.  The whole audience, like 200 people, were all into it.  

I mean, even if it's not your cup of tea, even if you would rather be boiled alive than be part of a public proposal, you can probably appreciate a moment like that.  A moment where both people are so happy and so in love.  I remember how elated and giddy I felt when Mike proposed.  Well, that feeling isn't just limited to the couple getting engaged.  Watching the Brazilians last Saturday I felt giddy and gooey and saptastic.  It's a vibe you get from witnessing acts of love.  The couple was earnest and sweet in their love for each other and they weren't showboating or being over indulgent by doing it publically.  It was like they were sharing and I for one felt totally special for being included.  

Thanks, random Brazilian couple.  Best Wishes!

So I've been making some great strides in planning the Maniak Wedding and then I saw this video and I realized no matter what pains I take to create the perfect day...things can always go wrong.  

And another thing...

I hope you don't think I'm a complainer...well, fine sometimes I enjoy a good bitch fest.  So here goes.  Yesterday I had several appointments back to back so of course I ended up rushing around like a mad woman and didn't think to pack some food to snack on so by 4.00 I was STARVING!  And I had exactly two hours to get from San Francisco down to Santa Clara and also write 24 'Break-A-Leg' cards for the cast of Midsummer Night's Dream.  So I was, again, forced to rush around and as I was passing the Chevron on 6th heading out of the city I decided to stop and grab something to snack on.  Well, they evidently were experiencing some plumbing problems and weren't allowing anyone inside the store but they assured me that if I approached the window and told them what I needed they would run and get it.  Well, nice an offer as that was...I declined.  I didn't KNOW what I wanted to buy so I decided to haul ass down to Santa Clara and grab something to eat before show time.  Mind you my blood sugar level had reached a dangerously low level and God help anyone who might have pissed me off on my way as I tend to get a tad cranky when I'm hungry.

So I finally get down to Steven's Creek Blvd. and I pull into a strip mall which, to my great pleasure, has a Quizno's.  Finally!  A lucky break!  I was day dreaming of a Veggie Sam all the way down 280 and now I could practically taste it.  

I look at the menu when I get inside, you know that HUGE menu that is pasted to the sanitary window between you and the food prep stations.  And when the lady asks for my order I say, "A veggie sami, please" to which she replies, "We don't do that."

I look back down at the menu which has a list of their sami sandwiches (by the by, a sami is a small CHEAP flatbread sandwich and my personal favorite) and of course I see chicken sami, turkey sami, etc., and the last little sami listed is the VEGGIE SAMI!  So I say, "But it's on the menu" to which she replies, pointing to the menu posted on the wall above her head, "It's not on that menu."  I smile and say, "But it's on this menu."  She does not smile and says, "Only use this menu."  I sigh, knowing that I will lose this battle, and order a small veggie sandwich.  It was delicious but TWO DOLLARS more than I wanted to spend and to tell you the truth I am more annoyed at the principal of the thing then anything else.  I mean it's ON the MENU!  If you aren't going to serve it then do not post the full menu!  Sheesh!  Get a girl's hopes up and everything.  And WHY won't you make the veggie sami?!  You've got all the ingredients.  Damn the man, make me a SAMI!

And the asshole award goes to...

So yesterday I arrive to work at a very nice elementary school, which shall remain nameless, in a posh neighborhood in San Jose.  I got there a few minutes before school let out and the parking lot was lined with parents parked in their cars awaiting the release of their children.  I was worried that I would be forced to park down the hill thereby making me late for not only this rehearsal but for the rehearsal that followed across town.  Then I spotted the only empty space in the place and I began to make my way over.  That is when I saw that the parking spot was being blocked by one of the parents' cars as he sat waiting for his son or daughter to emerge from school.  I smiled at the father and pointed to the parking space, mouthing the words 'I need to park there.  Can you back up?'.  He shook his head and pointed vaguely at something on the opposite side of the parking lot.  I turned hoping to see an empty spot but there was nothing available.  I looked back at the man, gestured again to the empty spot and pointed to the ENTIRE car length of space he had behind him to back up and the father shook his head AGAIN and looked away.  

Mind you the parking lot is FULL of parents just sitting in their cars watching this whole exchange.  Well, I need to park my car so I get out and approach the guy's car and, seeing that his window is down, I say, 'Excuse me, sir, could you back up just a bit so I can park in that space?'.  He looks me straight in the eyes and says, 'No'.  I have to stop myself from laughing at this point because I'm so shocked at his answer.  Finally I reply saying, 'Well, I am directing the school play and need to park my car and get inside for rehearsal so please move your car'.  He rolls his eyes and sighs before backing up at a snail's pace.  I walk back to my car, park in the space, and make my way into the school without even a glance at the man again.  I mean, really?!  No?!  REALLY?!?!  I...I mean...WTF?!

Shoulda bought Geico fo yo money.

Today I met with Mike from Continental Catering at Starbucks in San Jose before work.  We met to discuss the wedding and after a 45 minute discussion I left feeling excited and confident about my wedding.  I went in feeling overwhelmed and nervous about the cost and the planning that goes into the catering of a large event but my fears were eased and I left feeling eager to continue my planning.  Life was going so well!  

And then I got in a car accident.  

I'm not going to go into the details because there are claims being filed, etc., but I do want to speak about the emotional and physical ramifications of the incident.

First of all let me just say that I've learned from this experience what one should and should not do at the scene of the accident.  For instance, when approaching the driver of the other vehicle, begin the conversation by asking, "Are you okay?" to establish whether or not medical personnel need to become involved.  Please remember there are two people involved in an accident and being a raging BITCH doesn't help in the slightest.   Also, remember to provide your name, number, and insurance policy carrier as well as write down the same information of the other driver.  And note the make and model of the other vehicle.   Try to see if there was anyone who witnessed the accident and ask for their name and phone number as well.  Remain calm.  Assess whether you are feeling any pain and if so go directly to a medical professional.   Do not wait.  Go to the ER if you need to and remember that no matter how minor the accident you can be injured.  If you've got a camera, or a camera phone, take pictures of your vehicle.  When you get home, let someone (in my case Mike Wozniak) look at the car and see if they can fix any of the damage BEFORE you call the insurance agency.  If you're lucky, like me, you won't even need to take your car in to the shop!

So, basically it was a very loooooong day filled with ups and downs and I'm very glad I'm covered by insurance.  And glad I know I good chiropractor.  I can't wait for my massage tomorrow morning.  God bless insurance.  God bless Geico.  When I finally did call in my claim, they were so pleasant and concerned, asking if I was okay and expressing their sympathies.  I was a little shaken after my extremely mild accident and more than a little tense and thankfully my conversation with Geico left me feeling much better.  Also, Mike got me some beer and that helped too.  Thanks, Mike.  And thank you Geico.

Delightful

Self deprecating humor can be quite funny.  And useful.  Back when I was an awkward insecure gawky kid (I know, I know..."So last week, right, Steph?".  Very clever.), humor became my escape.  My defense.  If they could laugh with me then they wouldn't be laughing at me.  Sure it was mostly at my expense but at least if I started the joke then I was in control.  It seems so counter intuitive but making fun of myself was the first step I took towards liking myself.  Anyone who's been the butt of jokes knows how that can really take it's toll on your self esteem.  After coming home crying every day after school when I was twelve I decided to start laughing instead and I really haven't stopped since.  

By the time I was in high school I was a clown most of the time, performing for the crowds and losing sight of myself.  In college it was worse.  I look back at the girl I was then and I hardly recognize myself.  I'm sure my choice of collegiate activities might have something to do with my distorted memories (wink, wink) but I'm pretty sure I was too caught up in getting people to like me to really understand how much I was stiffing my true self.  In fact, I lost even more of myself because I was made fun of for being too sensitive and always wanting to talk about my 'feelings'.  My new friends told me to suck it up and quit my crying.  Enter the clown.  I stopped caring even more.  I became super skilled at making the witty remark to avoid any actual personal interactions.   I even stopped caring about how I looked and whether or not I graduated.  I was extremely unhappy but hid it well behind some smoke and a smile. 

That was me.  I think I've made some very drastic changes since then.  A change of location and new friends definitely helped to shock my system back to a healthier me.  Slowly I'm finding my way back.  I'm happy.  I've got an amazing fiance, family, and friends.  For so long I've played it safe because I was so worried about failing and looking like a fool.  I never wanted to give anyone an excuse to reject me.  And so I never tried.  

Well no more.  I'm on my way to being that silly carefree proud little girl I once was.  I'm not there yet.  I still use my humor as a defence.  I find that when I'm around sarcastic deprecating people I can easily slip back into my old patterns.  I'm working hard to rein in that side of myself.  I'm trying to greet insults, however masked, in an earnest manner instead of the same superficial callous banter.  In simple terms, I'm trying to be kinder.  

That being said, I'm never going to be all sweetness and light.  I've got an deep sarcastic streak in me and I love to poke fun with people.  As long as it's all done in jest and we are laughing WITH each other and not at the expense of each other, it's all gravy.  Which brings me to the title of this blog.

Delightful.  It's one my favorite words though I find I use it purely in a sarcastic manner rather than in the tone with which it is intended.  Seriously, try using delightful in a truly sincere way.  It's virtually impossible.  You sound like an ass.  But say 'delightful' with your tongue in cheek and you're almost always guaranteed a smile.