The most horrible thing...

I've had a horrible night.

I just watched a television show on TLC called Toddlers and Tiaras and I feel the need to vent.

Or vomit.

The evening began harmlessley. I made a great dinner. Hung out with my mom and Mike. Had some bomb ass chardonnay and watched TLC's What Not To Wear. All and all a very mild Friday night.

Then I watched an hour of disgusting terrible filth.

Toddlers and Tiaras began after What Not To Wear ended and I started to watch it with mild curiosity. Ever since Jonbenet Ramsey I've wondered casually about the goings on of the child pageant world and was contented to watch the show for a few minutes before I changed the channel to more intellectual entertainment, i.e. Family Guy.

The next 57 minutes were like watching a car wreck. 10 minutes into the episode I was crying. I watched the whole show only because I found myself caring so much for the children that I hoped somehow someone would appear to take them away from the INSANE world of competitive glamor CHILD beauty pageants and teach them about their inner beauty and moral fiber.

A woman enetered her 2 week old son into a pageant. She said she had high hopes for him. That she thought he was already showing signs of being more out going than his older brother, Cameron, who has won "100s of competitions" before. She says she and her husband are gonna try for a girl because "they're more fun at pageants than the boys" who "only get a tux and their hair combed".

Then there's the woman who used hand puppets to calm her 4 year old daughter down when she cried claiming she, "hates hairspray!" and she "didn't want to do it [the pageant]".

But the absolute worst was the Sterling twins, Ashlynn and Breanne.

I want to punch this mother in the mouth. I want to hug these children and tell them they are beautiful.

I want to spill pig's blood on the whole competiton.

This show broke my heart.