The most horrible thing...

I've had a horrible night.

I just watched a television show on TLC called Toddlers and Tiaras and I feel the need to vent.

Or vomit.

The evening began harmlessley. I made a great dinner. Hung out with my mom and Mike. Had some bomb ass chardonnay and watched TLC's What Not To Wear. All and all a very mild Friday night.

Then I watched an hour of disgusting terrible filth.

Toddlers and Tiaras began after What Not To Wear ended and I started to watch it with mild curiosity. Ever since Jonbenet Ramsey I've wondered casually about the goings on of the child pageant world and was contented to watch the show for a few minutes before I changed the channel to more intellectual entertainment, i.e. Family Guy.

The next 57 minutes were like watching a car wreck. 10 minutes into the episode I was crying. I watched the whole show only because I found myself caring so much for the children that I hoped somehow someone would appear to take them away from the INSANE world of competitive glamor CHILD beauty pageants and teach them about their inner beauty and moral fiber.

A woman enetered her 2 week old son into a pageant. She said she had high hopes for him. That she thought he was already showing signs of being more out going than his older brother, Cameron, who has won "100s of competitions" before. She says she and her husband are gonna try for a girl because "they're more fun at pageants than the boys" who "only get a tux and their hair combed".

Then there's the woman who used hand puppets to calm her 4 year old daughter down when she cried claiming she, "hates hairspray!" and she "didn't want to do it [the pageant]".

But the absolute worst was the Sterling twins, Ashlynn and Breanne.

I want to punch this mother in the mouth. I want to hug these children and tell them they are beautiful.

I want to spill pig's blood on the whole competiton.

This show broke my heart.

Life lately...

Life's been a little busy lately hence the looooooong silence here in blogville.

Quick update...I set a goal for myself last year that this year I was going to be signed with an agency. And last week my goal was reached. I signed with an agency here in San Francisco and am so exctied to start the next leg of my career. The one where I start making some money!

I've been planning our wedding (more on that at another time) and casting a couple shows for Boxcar Theatre.

And today I'm off to my first commercial audition. Yay!

So life is crazy busy but so exciting! More details later.

Oh, really? An actor? Well...good for you!

Why It's Great To Be An Actor

Reason Two:  The Reactions

We've all had someone ask us what we do for a living.  Which, actually, is kind of sad.  Do you remember people used to ask where you went to school or what your major was?  Those were the days.  Now, we're old.  We get asked what we do for a living.  It's a conversation starter.  A way to learn more about each other and perhaps find some common ground.  Well, I'm guessing that most people don't get the response that we actors do.  People just don't know how to reply when you say you're an actor.  Here are some examples of my favorites:

Sales lady at the Bridal shop:  Are you a student?

Me:  No, I'm an actor.

Lady: (Loooooooong pause with lots of blinking in confusion) Oh!  Like, wow!  Ok.

Me: (Smiling awkwardly) Yeah...

Lady: (Loooooooooong pause) That's great!  Ok, let me just go get you that other dress...

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Drunk friend of a friend at a bar: What do you do?

Me: I'm an actor.

Drunk friend: Oh my god!  Like for real?!

Me: Uh, yeah.

Drunk friend: What TV show are you on?

Me: I'm not.

Drunk friend: You said you were an actor.

Me: Yeah.

Drunk friend: Pshhh.  Poser!

 -------------

Some chick: What do you do?

Me: Oh, I'm an actor.

Chick: Oh, cool.  What are you going to do if that doesn't work out?

Me: What do you mean?

Chick:  Like, for money.  If that doesn't work out?  What's your plan b?

Me: I guess I'll direct.

I mean I understand.  I'm not making much money being an actor.  I teach and direct children's theatre to suppliment my income but that's kind of what being an actor is all about.  .0001% of us make it BIG BIG time, 2% make a good living, and then the rest of us fight it out on our way to the top.  But if you keep fighting sooner or later you just might end up there.  So that's what I do.  I don't have a plan b.  And I'm kind of insulted that you think I need one.  If I had answered, "I teach preschool" would you ask me if I had a plan b?  No!  

It's a wierd reality I live in.  

I mean, I'm used to it.  I love it.  But sometimes I take a step back and think, "This is weird." 

Anyway, it's fun to be an actor because life is never boring.  And if you'd like to try my life on for a minute then the next time someone asks you what you do for a living, say your an actor.  And let me know how that goes. 

My Youth (The First in a Series)

Flashback time.  Old Nickelodeon.  Classic.

Clarissa

Salut Your Shorts

Aaaand a clip from my personal favorite, Fifteen.  Note how none of the characters have last names.  Now that's classy.

Oh Britney...

I love that the caption reads "I'm so idiot". Classic.

Why It's Helpful To Be An Actor: Part One In A Series

My car was broken into last night.  Window smashed.  Mess everywhere.  Most people would have had to use their bare hands to clean things up.  Not me.

I am an actor.

I have props with me wherever I go.  Fortunately last night I was equipped with a broom.  What is better to clean up glass than a broom?!  Well maybe a vacuum but a broom is far easier to use away from an outlet so luckily I had a broom.

Also, I had a cardboard box and a roll of tape which we then used to fashion a makeshift window.  AND I had a load of laundry in the trunk with fresh clean WARM socks to wear on the ride home.   Because a cardboard window does not keep the wind out.  I'm not sure what having laundry and cardboard has to do with being an actor but hey, I'm an actor and I had those things so...LUCKY!

The night began well enough...

There is nothing fun about getting your car broken into.  Absolutely nothing.  Okay, maybe pretending you're on CSI and trying to pull a fingerprint off the car with tape is kind of fun.  But nothing else is.

And when you interrupt the perp and hear him fleeing the scene it can be quite scary.  

My tummy had been upset all night and I had ignored that little voice inside my head that told me to call it an early night.  Shut up, voice!  I'm out with friends.  I want to stay and have fun.  Well, voice, I apologize for ignoring you.  You were right.  If we had left even ten minutes earlier my car would be in one piece.

At least no one was hurt.  That's the important thing.  I mean, sure, it sucks that my ipod is gone.  And a bunch of CDs which are going to be a great disappointment to someone.  I doubt this guy is a huge fan of Camelot the musical.  Who is, really?  

But my shoes.  Sigh.  My brand new, only worn twice, super expensive and fantastic Asics that I purchased after looking a fool on a treadmill in the store.  My special running shoes that will make me stop running like a spaz.  My shoes.  They be gone.

But shoes can be replaced.  And it was very lucky I had that broom. 

But more on that later.

All in all, the experience was ok.  I'm SO glad I have such amazing friends who will cheer me up and help make my car a safe mode of transport again.  

Ipod Nano - $110.

Asic Running Shoes - $117.

Girly CD Collection - $ 90.

Friends who keep you calm and smiling during a crisis......Priceless.