Scream Queens

I don't know if it's the Halloween season or the latest horrible reality TV show to hit the MTV airways, but lately I've been very keen to act in a B Horror film.  This has been a dream of mine since I first saw Halloween, the original with Ms. Jamie 'Queen of Scream' Curtis herself.  I LOVE horror movies.  The good suspense Hitchcock kind, the classic Steven King kind, the cheesy Wes Craven flicks, and the horrible no name actress, no name director, no budget, no clothes, no plot, one star kind they only show on the Sci-Fi channel at two in the morning.  I love 'em.  And I've ALWAYS wanted to be in one.

At first I wanted to be the heroine, the sole survivor who must forever carry her guilt and fear into countless sequels, because only then can you really cement your standing as a true Scream Queen.  Then I thought I'd love to be the villain.  The bad thing that goes bump in the night.  Oh, how much fun would that be?!  To rise from the dead or emerge from under some rock or out of some institution and unleash my torment on all those who put me away.  Fun, right?

Or the best friend who has all the witty comebacks and is apparently fearless in the face of death as she continually insists that the plain faced stick in the mud heroine go out to parties, crawl into attics, camp in the woods, or sleep with the wrong guy.  And then she dies a horrible and grisly death.  Totally fun.

So, I've been looking for opportunities to audition for a horror movie.  And they've been making a bunch recently.  All low budget no name flicks but hey, what do I care, right?  I just want to have some fun!  One problem.  I have yet to find an audition for a horror movie that does not require me to take my shirt off.

Really?!  It can't be one of those no nudity involved sort of movies?  I mean, seriously?!  You expect me to come to your 'studio' aka 'skanky apartment' and strip down to audition for a role in a 'horror movie' aka 'porno with a Halloween theme'?   Sigh.  And yuck.

So, I guess I'll have to wait until I'm a more legitimate actress to get my big break in the B Horror genre.  They still have horror movies without any nudity, right?  Right?!

Also, there's IS a horrible new reality TV show called Scream Queens and it makes me so sad.  These 'actresses' aka 'skanks' are competing to star in the latest SAW movies, not one of my favorites but still.  One of them gets to live my dream and all I'm getting is porn.  THEY should be in porn!  I miss Hitchcock.