Lost in translation

I love how some things translate. Here's a conversation had via email between my father and his French cousin. Each email was written in the sender's first language and then translated to the other language and then I translated my dad's email back into English. The following translations made me giggle.

From Dad -

Hello Andre & Francoise,

We all wish we could be in France to visit. Andre, do not let Philip drink all your wine!.

Stephanie was married August 29 in a cave near San Francisco. I have attached photos of the beautiful bride and her father very proud.

We love you and miss you. Please give our love to everyone in the family, especially Clarette and Robert.

Stephen and Sherry

Response from Andre and Frances-

We were very happy to receive your message and beautiful pictures! Congratulations to the happy parents and best wishes for happiness in the beautiful Stephanie and her husband. Whether fine style dancer daddy! Bravo!...but Bravo to Sherry: always elegant and graceful. We look forward to the arrival of Phil and Gail Saturday night. The same welcome awaits you if you come in France. I'll watch it for the cellar is the wine!

We embrace you very hard,

Andrew and Frances

Art

For those of you wondering about my previous post allow me to explain about the bones.

I'm a director for a small theatre company.

This means that I'm also a stage manager, sound designer, costumer, and of course set designer. Well, the play I'm directing is set in an art museum so I get to make some art which is exciting. But it's bad modern art so it's a little weird. Ok, it's a lot weird.

I don't want to give too much away for those of you who want to come see the show but let's just say that some of the artwork includes bones. Thus the amazing bones cleaning experiment of 2009.

Now that we're clear, I'm going to search some thrift stores to see if I can find an old wedding dress for cheap.

Cause yeah, there's also a wedding dress.

It's art, y'all.

Bones

Recently I've found it necessary to cultivate a collection of animal bones.

Did you know that you can get ten pounds of bones from the butcher for ten dollars? And the bones are not clean, they're still full of meat which you can totally use for some sort of meat pie or something. Hello marvelous way to save money! I call it Mystery Meat Pie! Now if I could just find someone to eat it...

Why am I collecting bones, you ask? Well, let me assure you it's all in the name of art. More on that later.

But first, a lesson about the proper way to clean bones.

1. Place bones in a large pot for boiling.

2. Boil bones for several days. Enjoy the aroma of cooking carcass. Mmmm, carcass!

3. Rinse and scrub the bones using a strong brush. Make sure you get all of the marrow off. And those fun squishy bits!

4. Place clean bones on a cooking tray and place them in the sun to bleach. I'd recommend placing them somewhere in your yard where they will be in full view of most of your neighbors. It will certainly give you all something to talk about at the next block party.

I will say that after boiling and cleaning a cow's femur, I felt pretty badass. I mean no one's gonna mess with the bone cleaner...right?